Vampyrmiddag på påse, när livet rann ut i andra änden

Hej hopp jag är tillbaka med en del nya tankar om livet och erfarenheter från sjukhuset.

Det blev en snabb färd med ambulansen in förra onsdagen när jag inte orkade gå många steg innan jag trodde mitt hjärta skulle hoppa ur bröstet som jag sprungit en språngmarsch. Nu går det inte längre tänkte jag.. om jag inte ringer nu så blir jag för borta i huvudet för att fixa det. Jag hade förblött hemma och tagit sista sucken. Hmmm det är inte dags ännu har mycket att säga och berätta om innan jag lägger ihop mina blå ögon. Det fick mig att inse många saker inom många områden som jag tar med mig i mina berättelser samt i livet för mig privat.

Två vänder in på akuten, en på måndagen och får åka hem och den andra på onsdagen. Fick två påsar blod på onsdagen, 74 hb och två påsar på söndagen när hb sjunkit till 80. Värdet har åkt jojo upp och ned samtidigt som det rinner ut i andra änden. Sände mina tacksamma tankar till blodgivare som ger av sitt blod för oss som behöver. Vid varje påse sa jag, tack för den som gav detta blod till mig.

Läkarna tror sig att jag har ett missbildat kärl i tunntarmen och vid nästa blödning ska de göra en större undersökning. Blödning börjar avta nu men är inte helt borta, 99 hb vid hemgång. En diagnos som jag får leva med resten av mitt liv, gilla läget och göra det bästa av det. 

När jag började må lite bättre så började mitt sinne bli uttråkad och behövde ha en underhållning. Mitt sinne blir fort uttråkad kan ibland vara lite stressande. Vill lära mig något nytt, diskutera saker, tänja på gränserna på livets alla plan. Blir så trött när jag möter människor som är inskränkta och är inte där jag är i min utveckling. Tålamod och förståelse trots de kan vara helt nonchalanta och otrevliga men jag sa ifrån. De ska behandla alla med respekt vem än vi må vara i samhällsskiktet, varifrån vi är, kvinna eller man.

På akuten var alla trevliga ödmjuka och så tillmötesgående utom en kirurg som stod och gungade på sina fötter och smålåg lite nedlåtande med en frånvarande blick. Jag vet att många blir inte läkare av rätt syfte utan mera en karriär som ger bra med pengar samt fin titel. Jag är inte imponerad och ser upp till läkarna utan ifrågasätter dem till det yttersta.  Kan rätt mycket om kroppen och ställer ibland frågor som de inte kan svara på. Hann med och se deras skådespel och hierarki i korridorerna. Kan snabbt läsa av andra hur de är som person och var i gruppen de befinner sig i hierarkin, flockbeteende.

Mötte två speciellt gulliga sjuksköterskor en på måndagen och en på onsdagen. Tack fina medmänniskor ni gjorde så mina timmar där blev uthärdliga samt läkaren som tog hand om mig på måndagen. Har för första gången fått tagit med mig en kvinna in på toaletten för jag klarade inte av att fixa det själv. Ynklighet och tacksamhet, tack Emelie 🙂

På avdelningen var det en manlig sjuksköterska som gjorde mig glad för han var lättsam, drog några skämt och kändes trygg i sig själv, tack Oskar. Kvinnorna var det värre med tyvärr. Jag vet vad det handlar om men så himla trött på deras ynkliga svaga beteende. De unga kvinnorna är trevliga och de som kommit upp i åren blir bittra och har svårt för andra kvinnor. Suck 

Imorgon så kommer jag skriva om AI och lägga ut ett youtube klipp om framtiden. Michio Kaku som berättar 🙂 helt otroligt. Ska vila nu..

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